I found one of these comments. in a leaked script, in what episode does XL ask xy, who is the person she likes?windiaaa041293:
[ in the leaked script,Xiang Liu asks Xiaoyao, who is the person you like? Xiaoyao replied, “The person I like is the person I will spend my whole life with.” After the robbery, Xiang Liu asked, who do you want to be with for the rest of your life? Xiaoyao refused to answer, but both of their Lovers bug lit up.Xiang Liu became very gentle]
The S2 episode is just an estimate based on what the original poster of the script structured out - and this should be different with the final cut, because we only covered 20 episodes by the end of the script.
S2 Ep2 scene 20 (originally S2 Ep10, at the Lirong gambling den)
Xiao Yao and Fangfeng Bei took up the dice cup and waved it. Fangfeng Bei obtained 6,6,5 while Xiao Yao first got 2 6s and a still spinning 3rd dice, which ended up on a 4. Xiao Yao's face changed amid the boos from the gamblers present.
FFB (unrestrained smile): Who... do you like?
Xiao Yao was stunned.
Tushan Jing anxiously stared at the Xiao Yao in the water mirror, hope in his eyes.
Xiao Yao felt that Fangfeng Bei was deliberately embarrassing her, and glared at him,
XY: What kind of rubbish question is that? Change to another one.
FFB: I will ask what I want to ask. All you need to do is answer. If you don't, that means you lose.
XY (sly smile): Fine I'll answer! The one I like is... the one I want to spend my whole life together with.
The hope in Tushan Jing's eyes faded, and his eyes dimmed.
Fangfeng Bei stared at Xiao Yao.
FFB: Whom do you wish to spend your whole life together with?
Xiao Yao avoided Fangfeng Bei's eyes and picked up the dice.
XY: That is the next question. You can ask it after you win.
Xiao Yao and Fangfeng Bei rolled the dice once more. This time there were no mishaps and Xiao Yao won this round.
Xiao Yao looked at Fangfeng Bei.
XY: If given the chance, would you still choose this path?
FFB (silent momentarily): I would!
XY: Why?
Fangfeng Bei quietly stared at Xiao Yao. Just when Xiao Yao thought he would refuse to answer, he laughed.
FFB: Because on this path, I met a very important person. If I had chosen another path, I might have never met her.
Xiao Yao did not understand that the person he referred to was a "she" 她, not "he" 他 (both are pronounced the same - tā )
XY: You are really loyal to your adoptive father!
Xiao Yao lost interest and got up to leave without even taking her winnings.
S2 Ep7 scene 9 (originally S2 Ep15) - at Qingshui Town after being taken away from the wedding
Xiao Yao looked at Xiang Liu's eyes, which emitted a strange red glow. As she looked, the tipsiness on her face dissipated, and she fell into a trance.
XL (spellbinding): Are you willing to marry Chishui Feng Long?
Xiao Yao's expression grew slack, and her voice was soft.
XY: I don't want to.
XL: Are you willing to marry Tushan Jing?
Xiao Yao's dull expression suddenly had a moment of clarity and she struggled to wake up. The red glow in Xiang Liu's eyes intensified, his voice even gentler.
XL: Are you willing to marry Ye Shiqi?
XY: I am willing.
XL (momentarily hesitant): With whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao opened her mouth as if to answer, but her expression showed extreme resistance, and she struggled to snap out of the trance. Xiang Liu firmly focused his eyes on her and intensified the spell.
XL (tense): Tell me, with whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao gripped her head violently, in such pain that her body was shaking.
XY: Ah! It hurts, hurts...
Xiang Liu quickly dispersed the spell, and Xiao Yao collapsed into his arms in pain.
XL: I won't ask anymore, won't ask anymore...
Xiao Yao closed her eyes wearily, her tightly knit brows slowly relaxing.
XY (murmuring): Why...
XL: Because...
Xiang Liu did not continue. His eyes were tender, as if everything he had kept deeply buried inside would finally overflow.
The poisonous bugs in both their hearts emitted a glow in unison with their heartbeats.
Xiang Liu stared at the unconscious Xiao Yao, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
XL: Have a good sleep. You will forget everything after you wake.
Thank you for thoroughly reviewing the post on "Events Occurring During a Full Moon." I applied almost all your corrections to the original post.solarlunareclipse:
You're welcome. Thank you for your hard work!
I'm not certain that "又“ from the poisoning passage necessarily references back to the last time the a round moon was mentioned in the text (the YaoLiu relationship severing passage). "It was yet another night of the full moon...." could be similar to saying "It was yet another dark and stormy night..." and not reference any particular event from the novel, but just mean "it's a full moon again." Because of the ambiguity, I decided to keep the translation as "The dark clouds obscured the round moon" instead of "The dark clouds obscured the full moon."
In retrospect, I believe that the 又 in "又是一个月圆之夜 It was yet another night of the full moon" probably refers to the significance of a full moon night for Xiao Yao, waiting for Jing month after month for him to return on such a day - and to take his murderer's life on a similar night, rather than referring to the immediate "round moon" event prior to it. As such, I agree with you that the moon when YaoLiu severed their relationship should be just "round moon" rather than "full moon".
Maybe it's it's just different way of writing scripts? but when I was learning to write scripts, we were told NEVER to write the emotion of the character but to only to describe the actions, and details of the actions and environment. And instead of words like "dull" to describe how dull would look like...this way it provides a roadmap for the actor to interpret what dull would look like.plor20:
This is probably the only leaked script I have read in detail and its entirety, so I am not sure whether the way it is written is the norm or not. But certainly, it describes actions, emotions and thoughts. When I originally posted this, I pointed out that I had no idea how they were going to portray Xiao Yao not realising the person Fangfeng Bei mentioned was a she 她 instead of a he 他 since both are pronounced the same. It reads fine on paper, but how does one even translate that visually??
This is a sample of the structure of the leaked script, which I once shared:
Fangfeng Bei quietly stared at Xiao Yao. Just when Xiao Yao thought he would refuse to answer, he laughed.
This line in the script says "防风邶沉默地盯着小夭，在小夭以为他不回答的时候，他笑了笑。" Definitely far less descriptive than your version.
For comparison, I looked at the leaked script for Till The End of the Moon and stylistically, it is written similar to the S2 leaked script, including descriptive lines that tell the emotions, which means the script leaves room for the director and actors to interpret and decide how to portray it themselves:
澹台烬看到黎苏苏神色中的关心和笃定，只觉心头一轻，看到“魔神”的那一刻涌上心头的沉重和不安都消失了。
Tantai Jin noticed the concern and conviction in Li Susu's expression, and felt a sense of relief. The heaviness and unease that surged in his heart at the sight of the “demon god” dissipated in that moment.
-- Till The End of the Moon leaked script, Ep32
So perhaps this is how scripts are written in the Chinese industry?
So perhaps this is how scripts are written in the Chinese industry?liddi:
Thanks Liddi for this, and it is most interesting. I can see the stylistic differences, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I feel like when you start adding emotions and thoughts into your script you are letting those drive the actions instead of the actions driving the emotions.
Of course, I do understand that there still some instances where you can't but hint to an emotion as seen in this excerpt from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (shooting script).
EXT. MONTAUK TRAIN STATION PLATFORM - LATE AFTERNOON
Joel sits on a bench waiting for the train. Clementine enters the platform, sees Joel, the only other person there. She waves, sort of goofily enthusiastic, playing as if they're old friends. He waves back, embarrassed. She takes a seat on a bench far down the platform. Joel stares at his hands, pulls his journal from his briefcase and tries to write in order to conceal his awkwardness.
JOEL (V.O.) Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?
INT. TRAIN - LATE AFTERNOON
Joel sits at the far end of the empty car and watches the slowly passing desolate terrain. After a moment the door between cars opens and Clementine enters. Joel looks up. Clementine is not looking at him; she busies herself deciding where to sit. She settles on a seat at the opposite end of the car. Joel looks out the window. He feels her watching him. The train is picking up speed. Finally:
CLEMENTINE (calling over the rumble) Hi!
Joel looks over.
JOEL I'm sorry?
CLEMENTINE What? I couldn't hear you.
JOEL I said, I'm sorry.
CLEMENTINE Why are you sorry? I just said hi.
However, I do think lines like the one below from TTEOTM limits the actors ability to transcend their character because it is written in a way that dictates the actor's preconceived idea of what that emotion is, and doesn't necessarily help them interpret what these emotions actually looks like or means to the character they are portraying. For example, how does one portray "heaviness and unease"?
Tantai Jin noticed the concern and conviction in Li Susu's expression, and felt a sense of relief. The heaviness and unease that surged in his heart at the sight of the “demon god” dissipated in that moment.
Here's an excerpt of the infamous opening scene of the Matrix. Imagine if they would have written down thoughts and emotions. Would the actors be able to portray the iconic Trinity and Mr. Smith, as we know it? The way this was written is all action driven, and the dialog and actions drive the emotions versus the emotions driving the actions.
IINT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL - NIGHT 2
The hotel was abandoned after a fire licked its way across the polyester carpeting, destroying several rooms as it spooled soot up the walls and ceiling, leaving patterns of permanent shadow. We FOLLOW four armed POLICE OFFICERS using flashlights as they creep down the blackened hall and ready themselves on either side of Room 303. The biggest of them violently kicks in the door. The other cops pour in behind him, guns thrust before them.
BIG COP Police! Freeze!
The room is almost devoid of furniture. There is a foldup table and chair with a phone, a modem, and a powerbook computer. The only light in the room is the glow of the computer. Sitting there, her hands still on the keyboard, is TRINITY; a woman in black leather.
BIG COP Hands behind your head! Now! Do it!
She slowly puts her hands behind her head.
EXT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL - NIGHT 3
A black sedan with tinted windows glides in through the police cruisers. AGENT SMITH, AGENT BROWN, and AGENT JONES get out of the car. They wear dark suits and sunglasses even at night. They are also always hardwired; small Secret Service earphones in one ear, the cord coiling back into their shirt collars.
AGENT SMITH Lieutenant?
LIEUTENANT Oh shit.
AGENT SMITH Lieutenant, you were given specific orders --
LIEUTENANT I'm just doing my job. You gimme that Juris-my dick-tion and you can cram it up your ass.
AGENT SMITH The orders were for your protection.
The Lieutenant laughs.
LIEUTENANT I think we can handle one little girl.
Agent Smith nods to Agent Brown as they start toward the hotel.
LIEUTENANT I sent two units. They're bringing her down now.
AGENT SMITH No, Lieutenant, your men are already dead.
S2 Ep7 scene 9 (originally S2 Ep15) - at Qingshui Town after being taken away from the wedding
Xiao Yao looked at Xiang Liu's eyes, which emitted a strange red glow. As she looked, the tipsiness on her face dissipated, and she fell into a trance.
XL (spellbinding): Are you willing to marry Chishui Feng Long?
Xiao Yao's expression grew slack, and her voice was soft.
XY: I don't want to.
XL: Are you willing to marry Tushan Jing?
Xiao Yao's dull expression suddenly had a moment of clarity and she struggled to wake up. The red glow in Xiang Liu's eyes intensified, his voice even gentler.
XL: Are you willing to marry Ye Shiqi?
XY: I am willing.
XL (momentarily hesitant): With whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao opened her mouth as if to answer, but her expression showed extreme resistance, and she struggled to snap out of the trance. Xiang Liu firmly focused his eyes on her and intensified the spell.
XL (tense): Tell me, with whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao gripped her head violently, in such pain that her body was shaking.
XY: Ah! It hurts, hurts...
Xiang Liu quickly dispersed the spell, and Xiao Yao collapsed into his arms in pain.
XL: I won't ask anymore, won't ask anymore...
Xiao Yao closed her eyes wearily, her tightly knit brows slowly relaxing.
XY (murmuring): Why...
XL: Because...
Xiang Liu did not continue. His eyes were tender, as if everything he had kept deeply buried inside would finally overflow.
The poisonous bugs in both their hearts emitted a glow in unison with their heartbeats.
Xiang Liu stared at the unconscious Xiao Yao, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
XL: Have a good sleep. You will forget everything after you wake.
How I would have written the below scene using actions to dictate the emotions, allowing the actors to interpret it. For example: Instead of telling Yangzi to "look in pain" and JCT to "disperse the spell", I would explain the actions needed to portray this, and give them to opportunity to improvise the emotions.
INT - Temporary home, Qingshiu Town-Evening
Xiao Yao looks at Xiang Liu, and meets his eyes. His eyes suddenly emit a red glow. XY eyes gloss over, and slightly tilts back, and her head bops like she is fighting sleep. A calm takes over and she slightly smiles, lazily at Xiang Liu.
XL (his eyes sternly on XY): Are you willing to marry Chishui Feng Long?
Xiao Yao's face relaxes, and her voice is soft.
XY: I don't want to.
XL: Are you willing to marry Tushan Jing?
There’s a glint in XY’s eyes, and she snaps out of her trance. Suddenly, the red glow in XL’s eyes intensifies, but his voice, mild. XY’s rebounds, and as she blinks, her eyes slightly wander around, while her head bobs a bit.
XL (moving in closer to XY’s face): Are you willing to marry Ye Shiqi?
XY (murmurously): I am willing.
After a short moment of silence.
XL (asks sternly): With whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao opens her mouth, but the moment she opens, she quickly closes it, unable to answer. Her breathing starts to quicken. Her eyes wander erratically. She bites down on her lips slightly. Xiang Liu firmly focuses his eyes on her, his breath long and steep.
XL (tense, low voice): Tell me, with whom do you most wish to spend your life with?
Xiao Yao’s arms flip up violently, and grips her head. Her eyebrows furrows and jaw clenches. She bites down her lips harder. Her body shakes and clasps her head closer.
XY: Ah! It hurts, hurts...
Xiang Liu jumps back slightly, the red glow in his eyes disappears. The darkness in his eyes returns. As Xiao Yao collapses into his arms, XL’s eyes softens.
XL (whispering): I won't ask anymore, won't ask anymore...
Xiao Yao closes her eyes wearily, her knit brows relaxes.
XY (murmuring): Why...
XL: Because...
Still holding a limp Xiao Yao, Xiang Liu’s breathing steadies. His eyes dampen and dewy. He looks at Xiao Yao’s face, and slightly moves a strand of hair from her face. He looks at her, locking his gaze at the tiny sweat from her frow. A half smile appears on his face and he swallows back his tears.
The poisonous bugs in both their hearts emit a glow, the sound of their heart slightly murmurs, and syncs with the brilliance.
XL (calm and soothing): Have a good sleep. You will forget everything after you wake.
Thanks Liddi for this, and it is most interesting. I can see the stylistic differences, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I feel like when you start adding emotions and thoughts into your script you are letting those drive the actions instead of the actions driving the emotions.
Perhaps this is a difference in how scripts are written in China vs other countries. I don't know the industry well enough to gauge whether this is the norm for all scripts (is there a difference if it was for a drama vs a movie?), but at least it appears consistent based on the small sample pool I have seen.
How I would have written the below scene using actions to dictate the emotions, allowing the actors to interpret it. For example: Instead of telling Yangzi to "look in pain" and JCT to "disperse the spell", I would explain the actions needed to portray this, and give them to opportunity to improvise the emotions.
Thank you very much for sharing how you would rewrite the script for that scene. Based on your rewrite, I get the feeling that every action has to be spelled out as a starting point, which the actors would then use as a reference on how to portray it.
Does this then indicate that scripts in Western countries would spoonfeed the actors and director more, and give them a starting point from which to interpret and improvise? I get the feeling that the way Chinese scripts are written (at least from the small sample I have seen), there is a greater reliance on the director, and in turn the actors to interpret what the script calls for, and how to translate it visually, based on their own experience and expertise. Does this sound reasonable to you?
I hope they will keep the bugs glowing in unison with their heartbeats in the drama. Actually I like how the drama added the gambling den scene, they tie the person who she wants to spend her life with to the person she likes, which definetely isn't jing or 17. They answer two questions with one.blabla100:
Very true. These additions actually confirm what the drama could not outright declare, and I definitely hope that they are retained, and given due prominence. The glow of the lovers bugs when he was healing her under the ocean was focused on in the drama even though these were specifically spelled out in the leaked script, which meant that a casual viewer would have missed it (even I did until @windiaaa041293 pointed it out).
Xiang Liu sat in front of her, continuously transferring spiritual power into her body. Both Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao's hearts emitted a pulsating glow, like their heartbeats. However, while the glow in Xiang Liu's heart was bright, Xiao Yao's gradually dimmed, until it finally extinguished. All of a sudden, Xiao Yao collapsed and fell forwards with no sign of life in her, just like a corpse.
:
As the heart's essential blood entered her mouth, Xiao Yao's heart began to emit a glow again, albeit very weakly.
:
Xiang Liu's eyes shot open upon regaining consciousness and he looked over at Xiao Yao by his side anxiously. As he held her hand, their hearts emitted a pulsating glow, akin to their heartbeat, and relief finally washed over him.
Xiang Liu let go of her hand, and the glow disappeared.
:
[Just before he woke her up]
As Xiang Liu held Xiao Yao's hand in his, his heart and that of Xiao Yao's body once again started to glow.
-- S1 Ep30-32 leaked script
I believe there is an official quote about how to choose between the right person and the person you love that speaks volumes.
That was part of the 2013 official description for Vol 2:
对的人与爱的人又该如何选择
How should one choose between the right person and the one they love
What she said at the end about XL not doing himself right applies to her as well.
I think she made do with what she felt she could cope with and accept, which meant throwing caution to the wind and loving passionately, recklessly was not an option if it meant losing the man she loved at the end of it, because she had been so traumatised over the sense of abandonment that she lived with during her formative years. And because Xiang Liu understood her hopes and fears so well, he did everything within his power to ensure she finally had what she wished for, the three things she said she lacked the first time they met - 三无 (the three have-nots).
2 days agoAH :
blabla100:
She is willing to marry 17 because 17 could offer her the life she always wished for and not because she genuinly loves either jing or 17. If she actually loved him for who he is, she would have answered yes to XL's first question about Jing too.
I disagree.
Hypothetical YSQ (i.e., a version of TSJ with no status or responsibilities who did not have ties to the Tushan clan) would meet her criteria for husband.
Regardless of how she felt about him in chapter 32, married-to-FFYY / Tushan Clan leader TSJ did not meet her criteria for a husband. Later on (after FFYY faked her death), XY came around to the idea of marrying TSJ despite his ties to the Tushan Clan and was willing to marry him, although she extended their engagement for decades first. When she actually married TSJ in chapter 50, he was back to being YSQ (no status, no responsibilities, no ties to the Tushan Clan).
@AH
"I disagree.
"Hypothetical YSQ (i.e., a version of TSJ with no status or responsibilities who did not have ties to the Tushan clan) would meet her criteria for husband."
"It hurts, it hurts..." Xiang Liu used magic to peek into Xiao Yao's heart, but Xiao Yao's will was extremely tenacious, when she encounters problems that she usually refuses to think about, she will be extremely resistant, and the headache was the outbreak of her resistance."
Admitting she wants to spend her entire life with XL by answering his last question would also admit that she doesn't love 17, the man who meets her criteria for a husband and the one who just said she is willing to marry.
I don't know if her struggle and refusal to answer that last question was because she couldn't admit that she still loves XL after he treated her the way he did, or because she didn't want to admit that she never loved 17. As I said, wanting to marry someone and wanting to spend your whole life with someone to me are basically the same. IMO XY was very aware that she loves XL and the crystal ball was definetely a declaration and the only attempt at fighting for love from the whole novel, but after she got rejected by XL, she finds confort in 17, at least that's how I interpret that nap where she was chilling with 17. She aknowledge her love for XL, but she doesn't want to aknowledge the fact that she doesn't love 17, especially after XL rejection. She still finds confort in him. Maybe that's why she opened her mouth as to answer, but shut it off right after.
Problems that she usually refuses to think about, she said she loved jing, yet she didn't do much for their relationship to work out. IMO that's definetely because the love for him was lacking. She said it herself that when you love someone nothing can stop you, but when you don't, you keep finding excuses. She needed tianer to put her back on track and forgive herself by accepting the blame.
My comment there wasn't about XL's lasts question.
I was disagreeing with the notion that "If she actually loved him for who he is, she would have answered yes to XL's first question about Jing too."
Given TSJ's situation at the time, she had a reason, separate from however she might feel about TSJ, to not answer when XL asked her if she was willing to marry TSJ.
Admitting she wants to spend her entire life with XL by answering his last question would also admit that she doesn't love 17, the man who meets her criteria for a husband and the one who just said she is willing to marry.
I disagree with the notion that if she had (or acknowledged having) romantic feelings for one of XL/FFB and YSQ/TSJ, that would necessarily mean that she didn't have romantic feelings for the other one.
I personally think XY had romantic feelings for TSJ/YSQ. They weren't the same as her romantic feelings for XL/FFB, but that doesn't mean they weren't there.
I haven't seen that one, but I've heard it's sort of the opposite of Jodhaa Akbar? Instead of a Muslim Emperor who is respectful of a Hindu princess' wishes and boundaries, it features a tyrannical Muslim King who invades a kingdom to try to forefully steal a Hindu Queen from a Hindu King?
That would be correct. It's a beautiful-looking film - so sumptuous and rich in colours, things that I always loved in Indian cinemas. Deepika Padukone is simply stunning. The clothing and jewellery - those beautiful saris!! The ending is "tragic" and yet not since the characters made such resolute choices and lived and loved fully. I think there was controversy when the film was released due to what the critics saw as the glorification of jauhar.
IMO, when it comes to "FFB and XL are one and the same" ... they are and they aren't. And I don't think either version is characterized by a veneer... it's more like each is a different side of himself that he leans into. But both are genuine versions of himself. Not a fake or surface-level act. Tong Hua seemed pretty clear about that.
What I mean by they are one and the same is that they are aspects of the same person - like you said. The veneer here is not that they are fake or surface-level acts - the characteristics in both aspects exist in XL - but more like an extra layer on top where he pushed certain characteristics to the forefront to meet the needs of the situations/environment that each "character" are in. The warmth and playfulness of FFB are very real, but the more libertine, playboy aspects are the extra gloss to suit the playboy, no-gooder second son that he had cultivated for hundreds of years to better move within that aristocratic circle. Just as the aloof, cold military advisor side of him gets pushed forward when dealing with military affairs, but the more genuine him isn't that cold or aloof. Just as I have a work persona that is me, and yet, the me that is with my closest and dearest is much more relaxed compared to the work me. I don't know if I'm explaining myself clearly here :-).
And when XY wishes that XL could just be FFB forever, I think she's wishing that he could be the version of himself that was warm, able to pass for ordinary, and willing + able to spend so much time with her doing ordinary things like practicing archery, going out for meals, gambling and exploring. Perhaps the person he was for over 100 years before he joined the Shengong remnant army. Instead of the etheral, remote, and cold version of himself that was a soldier committed to a war against her grandfather and CX.
I think the aloof and ethereal aspects of him were there first before the playful and warm FFB's side was developed. Even as FFB, XY always sense that he's remote and not part of the "red dust of the mortal realm". I think he appreciates and truly loves life, but he is also detached from it. Not in a fatalistic way. In Buddhism, detachment is seen as the determination to be free - we love, we care, we enjoy, but we don't cling to. Novel XL conveyed this better than drama XL. Drama XL is more of the mortal realm than the novel's XL, IMO.
I can't really tell if our views are different or the same here.
I think so? :-)
Oh?
I have been feeling super duper sad whenever I think about the character of XL lately. Working on the detachment as mentioned above as I typed :-).
I haven't been thought about it in a while, but I won't be surprised if it comes back to haunt me again at some point. Maybe someday it will haunt me enough that I actually do write something, but the chances are pretty miniscule.
It's all good. I wasn't expecting you to write a fic for it, just wondering if you might be thinking about writing a fic for it :-). It would be very AU, but I've read many fanfics in my lifetime that are extremely AU - sometimes I just like the characters and enjoy seeing them in different contexts and settings. It's interesting to explore how they would be different if this or that had happened etc.
AH :
We know that after XY finalized the ice crystal ball in preparation for sending it to XL, she stared at it and said to herself, "This is the last time."
This is the last time she is going to send him poison, but this is also her last try to persuade him to choose her.
I partly agree.
"This is the last time." could be read as XY saying that this is the last time she is going to send him a poison creation (which would be consistent with what she told XL in chapter 29).
"This is the last time." could be read as XY saying that this (sending the ice crystal ball to XL) is the last time she will say or do something that hints at her feelings for XL/FFB in the hopes that he will reciprocate and choose her.
"This is the last time" could even be read as XY intending both meanings (something like, "This is the last time I'll try, and this is the last time I'll send a poison creation to you under the guise of fulfilling my promise. But if you choose me and we're together in the future, I might still make poisons for you simply because I want to and I won't have to use others to send those poisons to you.").
But I don't think we, the readers, can say with confidence that when she said, "This is the last time." XY definitely meant more than just the first meaning (that this would be the last time that she would send poison to XL) and therefore we can conclude that she was definitely being honest with herself about her feelings and her intentions.
It's one of the many situations where Tong Hua leaves things vague and open to interpretation. If a reader believes that XY has deep romantic feelings for XL and believes that XY was honest with herself about those feelings and honest with herself about her intentions when she sent the ice cyrstal ball to XL, that reader can read the second meaning into XY's words. If a reader doubts that XY has deep romantic feelings for XL (as many YaoJing fans do) they may choose to interpret XY's words as only intending the first meaning. And if a reader believes that XY has deep romantic feeling for XL but doesn't believe that XY was open and honest with herself about her feelings and her true intentions when she sent the ice crystal ball to XL (the category that I fall into), then that reader may acknowledge both meanings and wonder how much XY conciously or subconsciously intended the one meaning vs. the other. It's really masterful writing.
At this point, XY had already made several attempts to hint to him that she wanted to be with him including:
During their date watching the moon rise from the ocean, when Xiao Yao said, “No matter how precious the scenery is, it becomes tiresome after seeing it too much, unless there's someone to accompany me, then it becomes meaningful. Scenery is always dead, only people can give it meaning,” she wanted him to reply that he would accompany her in viewing the scenery in the future.
Again, it's possible that WXL said those words hopeing that XL would respond as you suggested. It's also possible that WXL said those words without hoping that XL would respond that way. There isn't enough in the text for us to know for sure either way.
For example, she might have said those words to convey her mindset more generally without necessarily expecting or hoping for any kind of response - i.e., "Life is not worth living simply because beautiful views exist. But if you have someone with whom you can share the experieince of enjoying the beautiful views, then that would make life worth living." Which would tie back to her general comments about fearing loneliness in earlier chapters, which I don't think XY said to XL with the intention of conveying that she hoped that he, specifically, would accompany her and alleviate her loneliness.
While I agree with those who suggest that this is probably the scene where XY's romantic feelings for XL began, I personlly don't think the idea that XY said those words hopeing that XL would respond by telling her that he would accompany her in viewing beautiful views in the future matches up with her mindset and general attitude towards XL at that point in the story.
As a general rule of thumb, I would just be very cautious about assuming WXL/XY's intent in scenes like this. We can speculate for sure, but we can't really *know*.
Although the thought scared her, XY was serious when she seemingly jokingly agreed to give up being a princess and wander the world with FFB, provided he could let go of everything first. She takes promises seriously, so she wouldn't promise anything she had no intention of following through with.
XL had not confirmed that he was FFB by this point in the narrative. I personally don't think XY's comment was serious, as she didn't believe that FFB's comment was serious. That is shown pretty clearly in the text.
Xiao Yao was confessing her love to XL when she made him the koi fish frolicking in lotus pond poison dish and told him that he is her soulmate. The koi fish symbolizes a boy. The lotus symbolizes a girl. Together, they represent love.
Even with that symbolism, I personally would not frame that poison creation as a love confession, given both the context (XL was angry with XY about using him at the bow shop in their last encounter) and how XY acted when she presented it to FFB. She wanted to brag about her amazing craftmanship and wanted him to appreciate it, and was dissappointed when he didn't pay close attention to it at first. When he did enjoy her creation, she was ecstatic and they exchanged comments about how he was the only person who could appreciate her "cooking".
The phrase XY used describes someone who is totally on the same wavelength with a deep understanding and appreciation of the other person's talent and values. We discussed the origin and meaning of the phrase here: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2939211&page=453#p2939211
小夭可不接受打击：“得一知音足矣！”
Xiao Yao would not accept the blow: “It’s enough to have a true zhi yin!"
This is a statement that does have deep meaning and deep implications, but it's nowhere near as direct as (and doesn't have the same strongly implied romantic connotations) as saying, "It's enough to have a true soulmate." in English. But it also has much stronger implications than "close friend" (Google's suggested translation for the term).
-----
Koala's translation of Chapter 19, except for "知音":
A dance hall, a dancer was gracefully dancing.
Xiao Yao smiled and placed a white wrapped box in front of Fang Feng Bei.
Bei glanced over it and drawled, “What’s that?”
Xiao Yao said, “You open it.”
Bei shook his cup, “I’m drinking right now.”
Xiao Yao clenched her fist – be patient, be patient, be patient! She released her fist and opened the cloth cover over the box.
Bei was still uninterested and continued drinking his wine and watching the dancer dancing.
Xiao Yao had no choice but to open the box herself. When she made it, to create the scent of the lilies she spent a lot of time on it. Right now the scent of the lilies were lost in the pungent odor of the food and the perfumes around them so it wasn’t noticeable anymore.
Xiao Yao rushed here excitedly with a whole bellyful of things she wanted to say to him. She wanted to boast about how she made the poison lilies, how she made the leaf covers, but now the entire salmon frolicking in the lilies tableau turned dim and she didn’t feel like saying anything anymore. She picked up her wine and started drinking and pouting.
Bei finally turned his gaze from the dancer to the table and checked out the tableau on the glass plate. It was delicate and full of life, the colors vibrant and the items exquisitely rendered.
Bei stared for some time before picking up a chopstick and eating a lily frond.
One bite after another, one lily frond, one salmon, one lily…..slowly he ate the entire salmon frolicking in lilies tableau.
Xiao Yao gaped at him “You….don’t stuff yourself silly.”
Bei shot her a look and she immediately shut up.
Bei ate the final bite and put down his chopstick. He took a sip of wine and casually said, “Not bad.”
Xiao Yao stared at the empty plate and her heart soared. “The only person who can make poisons this tasty in the entire world is me!”
Bei laughed back, “And the only person in the entire world who can appreciate your great “cooking” talents is me!”
Xiao Yao sassed back, “It’s enough to have a true zhi yin (知音)!”
Bei gave her a half-smile but said nothing.
Xiao Yao asked, “Can you continue teaching me archery now?” What she really meant to ask was – are you not angry at me anymore?
Bei finished his wine. “I need to leave for a bit, wait for me to come back.”
Xiao Yao figured he was going back to Qing Shui town. Even if there was no active warfare, he was still the General of the Sheng Nong resistance army and there was much he had to do.
Xiao Yao couldn’t help it and sighed loudly and murmured, “If only you could forever be Fang Feng Bei, that would be so great.”
Bei appeared not to have heard her as he set down his wine cup and got up to leave, his form disappearing in the layers of curtains.
-----
Google's translation:
In the singing and dancing studio, the dancers were singing and dancing.
With a smiling face, Xiao Yao placed the big box wrapped in white silk in front of Fangfeng Bei.
Bei glanced at it and asked casually: "What is this?"
Xiao Yao said: "Open it and take a look."
Bei shook the wine bottle and said, "I'm drinking."
Xiao Yao clenched her fists and endured, endured, endured! She unclenched her fist and unwrapped the white silk.
Xiao Yao said: "Open the lid."
Bei still had no interest in reaching out, sipping wine and watching the maiko dance.
Xiaoyao had no choice but to open the lid by herself. When making it, [she] put a lot of thought into the fragrance of the lotus, but at this moment, the smell of powder and wine and food around [them] were too strong, and the fragrance of the lotus was not noticeable at all.
Xiao Yao came there excitedly. She originally had a lot to say, showing off what kind of poison the lotus is made of, and what kind of poison the lotus pods are made of. But now looking at the picture of "Koi Fish Playing with Lotus", she just feels that it is boring and nothing else. Too lazy to say anything, [she] picked up the wine bottle and started drinking.
Bei finally looked away from the maiko and looked at the case. An open scroll picture, in the clear waves, there are clusters of green leaves, crystal dewdrops, lotus flowers are half faded, the lotus pods are just beginning to form, a pair of koi fish are playing under the lotus, the fish lips are slightly open, as if they are waiting for the lotus seeds to fall. Hurry and grab something to eat.
Bei stared at it for a while, then picked up the wooden spoon and took a bite of the lotus leaf.
One bite after another, some lotus leaves, some koi fish, some lotus pods... Slowly, he finished almost all of the "Koi Carp Playing with Lotus Picture".
Xiao Yao looked at him blankly: "You, don't impose on yourself."
Bei glanced at her and Xiaoyao immediately shut up.
After Bei finished the last bite, he put down the spoon, drank a bottle of wine, and said calmly: "Not bad."
Xiaoyao looked at the empty glass plate and became happy and said proudly: "I am the only person in the world who can make poison so delicious!"
Bei Xiaoxiao: "I am the only one in the world who can appreciate your good cooking skills!"
Xiaoyao would not accept the blow: "It's enough to have a close friend!"
Bei looked at Xiao Yao with a half-smile but said nothing.
Xiao Yao asked: "Can you continue to teach me archery?" The subtext is - don't you be angry with me?
Bei drank the wine from the bottle and said, "I'm going to leave for a while. Wait until I come back."
Xiao Yao guessed that he was going back to Qingshui Town. Although there had been no fighting, he was the general of the Shennong Rebel Army after all, and there were still many things for him to decide.
Xiao Yao couldn't help but let out a long sigh and murmured in a low voice: "How wonderful it would be if you were always Fangfengbei!"
Bei didn't seem to hear anything. He put down the wine bottle, got up and left, and his figure disappeared among the heavy curtains.
Xiao Yao was sincere when she expressed her wish to have been born hundreds of years earlier so she could save him and allow him to live freely. She wanted to change his fate. Although, her giving him his freedom wasn't conditional on him choosing her, her willingness to do this for him is a testament to her feelings for him.
This comment from XY (and her comment in chapter 19 about wishing that XL could forever be FFB) feels like the closest that XY gets to showing her feelings for XL to XL. And notably, XL chooses to respond by scaring her away from him / into TSJ's arms.
But her comment does hints at her feelings in a way that emphasizes her mindset that she and XL cannot be together. Of course her wish for XL to be free of his ties to Gong Gong and the remnant army are not conditional on him choosing her. But I feel like that wish is clearly driven, at least in part, by the fact that she could be with a version of XL that was not tied to the remnant army, but she cannot be with a version of him that is tied to the remnant army (and by the same token, the version of him that is tied to the remnant army will not choose to be with her).
Even if one were to view this as a confession, it really doesn't seem like one that's designed to try and get XL to make a corresponding confession / to choose her.
When Xiao Yao said, “I really want do go see,” referring to the uninhabited and uncharted islands, she was saying, “I don't want to go back. I want to go with you.”
I've referred to this as a "bid" rather than a "confession" in the past. I feel like calling this a confession is overstating it a bit, but I agree that, whatever we call it, XL rejected it.
By "bid", I mean an attempt at connection. This article explains the concept: https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/
When Xiao Yao asked, “Bei, tell me...why is it so difficult to find someone to accompany you?” outside the donkey meat restaurant, they both knew she wanted him to accompany her.
It seems very possible that XY wanted XL/FFB to accompany her, and that they would both be aware of her feelings (although we cannot know for sure - and if XL/FFB really understood her feelings, I'm not sure that he would have then asked her in Chapter 32 who she most wanted to spend the rest of her life with), but once again XY does not actualy make a real confession.
And of course, in this chapter XY is engaged to Feng Long. XL acknowledges the engagement at the beginning of their encounter in this chapter (and XY goes on to tell XL that she will stop making poisons for him after she's married and that she wants to remove the Lovers Bugs), and XY brings up the engagement again in her confrontation with Lirong Chang shortly before leaving the restaurant and making this comment to XL. That context would undermine any hints at XY's feelings in their conversation at the end of Chapter 29.
This logic of not wanting to burden XL is also applicable to other points in time. For example, to explain why XY wasn't more forthcoming in any of the above attempts to hint to XL that she wanted to be with him.
This is a very kind interpretation of XY and her motives.
I personally think her not making her feelings clearer to XL stemmed from fear (of being hurt) more than anything. Plus she made many attempts to deny and suppress her feelings, partly because of the constant reminders (internal and external) that she shouldn't be with CX's enemy and partly, I think, because she lacked confidence in his feelings for her.
Even after the wedding robbery, XY must have acknowledged this desire. Otherwise, she wouldn't have asked XL this question:
Xiao Yao was silent before suddenly asking “Xiang Liu, why did you pick Gong Gong? Because he’s your adoptive father?” Xiao Yao didn’t know how she had the guts to ask him this question, probably because Xiang Liu didn’t seem like Xiang Liu tonight!
-- Vol 3 Ch 2 (Chapter 35)
The unspoken part of her question is, "Why not pick me?"
I think XY can suppress her feelings and lie to herself about them (for the most part, if not entirely) while still being driven by them on a more subconscious level (e.g., leading to her asking this question which, on it's face at least, doesn't require her to directly acknowledge her sad feelings about him not choosing her).
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