I Better Watch This in All of My Future Lives

“I was reborn this time solely to meet you.” I think I was reborn this time solely to WATCH. THIS. because I have not been this enthralled by a drama in a long while.

I have been obsessed with the concept of sonder (even if its meaning has been obscured or redefined online) since its appearance on social media in late 2020. For those that don’t know, its “definition” is the following: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. In other words, everyone has a story (thanks dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com). This drama encapsulates sonder wonderfully.

The story follows Ban Ji Eum (aka Yoon Joo Won, and aka her other 17 personas). She is currently on her 19th life and she has dedicated it to finding one very important person from her 18th: Moon Seo Ha. Many things about this drama first stuck out to me: the incredible acting, the beautiful setting and visuals, and of course, the captivating plot. But interwinning all of these aspects is one core thing, the thing that makes this drama so special and gives me confidence that I will rate it somewhere in the 7.5-10 range even though I am only 2 episodes in: the depth of the characters.

“‘Character’s have depth?’ Okay…doesn’t every character with a backstory have depth?” is what you may be questioning me for. I suppose you can associate depth to the viewer's knowledge of a character’s history, but I see it differently. If I do not know the upbringing of a character, that’s fine; but if their actions give way for me to question what has shaped them to be who they are, that is depth to me. Why do they act distant? Why are they clingy? Why is this their love language? Depth, to me, is being able to attach attributes to a character, making sense of their past, which overall allows yourself to be immersed into the narrative and become invested in a character’s outcome. A poor example of character depth is from the drama Love in the Air. I was not attached to the plot or the couples for one second because the characters had absolutely no depth. Sky, possibly (a bit problematic). But the other 3?? Nothing. I had no clue what made these character’s act so…desiring, and that would have been an interesting conversation on today’s intimacy-obsessed young adults. And it got to a point where I just didn’t care to know anymore. But, this drama is different.

Ji Eum is resilient (“Pursue rather than wait,” being her motto). She is strong-headed, thick-skinned—the characteristics one would need to adopt to survive 18 lives. She is humorous thanks to her flamenco-dancing days. Introspective thanks to being the sole survivor of a Japanese invasion. And mature thanks to all of these life lessons combined. But she is more than this supernatural phenomena. She is caring, protective, a bit brazen, and these are some things that Seo Ha brings out in her.
But he is not only a means of characterizing Ji Eum. Seo Ha had to experience his mother passing away at a young age, only for a little while later, Ji Eum’s previous life to end in his arms. Surviving two deaths, and with no support from an aloof and abusive father, Seo Ha is deep because he is letting these events and people impact him, but lift him up rather than bury him. This is when I am reminded of a quote from the show, Shadow and Bone: “You are not who you are because of them, but in spite of them.” Depth, I tell you! And now that Ji Eum is back in his life, things are better. Just as Seo Ha brought out the child of a 100+ year old (Joo Won), Ji Eum is now bringing out the lost childhood of Seo Ha. Seo Ha’s character is not only interesting because of what happened to him, but because of how he is reacting to it and surviving in spite of it. This is when the script really shines: “You’re alive. Seo Ha, thank you for being alive” (ep 1).

And what’s better to compliment a script than fantastic acting. I am completely not joking, the acting of Park So Yi (young Ji Eum) is phenomenal. She is wonderful in her role and really takes on the “old soul in young body” dilemma. She is vibrant and full of hope when she sees Seo Ha is alive, but her tears reveal she is also struggling with the guilt of leaving him behind. Her line delivery is amazing—a mix of playful/childish and mature and wise. I cannot wait for her future main roles.

Back to the plot, in addition to the idea of reincarnation being troubling in itself thanks to trauma of past lives and loss of a will to live (why Ji Eum always said a prayer to forget her current life and for that to be her last until she met Seo Ha), this drama is so unique because Ji Eum is interacting with people from her 18th life, allowing her to see their grief of her last life’s death firsthand but from a distance: “In all the lives I’ve lived, I could only feel my own pain. But not this life. The people I’ve left behind…I’m witnessing their sadness for the first time” (ep 2).

Quick final note: I hate age gaps. I hate it with such a passion. Whether in a drama or irl, it icks me out. HOWEVER, it doesn’t bother me with this drama, and here’s why: Ji Eum is likely a couple hundred years old and she met Seo Ha when they were ~8. She died, and he continued living. They then met again when he was in high school and Ji Eum was 9. For me, although you can see it as weird because a 100+ year old fell in love with an 8-year-old (like a vampire lmao), or a high schooler fell in love with someone 9 years younger, in “reality” that 9 year old is 100+ years old, so the ages of falling in love cancel out and my brain is somehow fine. Nevertheless, I get it if this turns some viewers away.

Once again, I have overstayed my review-welcome and perhaps discussed a bit too much. Nevertheless, I will update my review when I see fit and I’ll leave you with these parting words: If I was granted to watch one last drama before this life of mine ends, right now, I would pick this one!!

Happy watching, lovelies <3

Edit: 8/12 episodes in. IT GETS EVEN BETTER. If my initial review did not convince you, please please please let this edit!
Edit 2: I finished, and wow. The acting got better, the story got sadder, the characters got more interesting, the plot, she THICKENED. Certainly recommend and I think it is one of the best kdramas that will come out of this year xx

Pinterest plug: https://www.pinterest.com/ed3nelle/drama-see-you-in-my-19th-life/

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Bed Friend Should’ve Been Put To Sleep

Two things I honestly can’t believe: 1) My first review is going to be on this drama and 2) I sat through all of the episodes.

First things first: If you love this drama but are close minded, don’t read further because you won’t like what I have to say. However, if you love this drama but are open to seeing it's flaws (imo), please proceed. And finally, on the contrary to both, if you absolutely hate this series, either don’t waste your time reading or see how many things we agreed on. Got it? Good. Let's get messy because god, this drama is. (spoilers ahead for Bed Friend, Tharntype, and Love In The Air)

Important note: The rest of this review contains mentions of multiple forms of ab*se. If you are not comfortable with that topic, I don't recommend proceeding.

It's dramas like Bed Friend, Tharntype, and Love In The Air that are the best contenders and biggest examples for one of the many problems in the BL film industry (specifically Thai BLs) and whose obsessive fans make me lose faith in…well, just about everything. That problem, while shockingly is hard for some (the fans) to pick up on, is the masking of SA and/or using SA as a means of characterization, not development. Now, now, don’t come at me and say that Tharn, Sky, and Uea were SA’d for a deeper reason because to the lengths that these series go to continuously bring up the assault (not that it is to be ashamed of, but the show doesn’t do anything respectable with it) is insane. Ex. 1) In Tharntype, Type tells Tharn about his SA experience and they grow closer; only by this point, the viewer probably forgot that just a few episodes before, Tharn SA’d Type at night in their dorm room. Viewers might have missed this if they don’t fully understand what SA can look like—it happens in different forms. 2) In Love In The Air, after Prapai stalked Sky and they finally got together, Sky was tricked by his ab*sive ex-boyfriend into seeing him again. After Prapai saves him, Sky tells him what happened in his past relationship, and the show depicts multiple scenes of the ab*se that are certainly hard to watch (seriously, what was that for? we just watched another scene of his ex attempting to SA him and they proceed to show us more?). While these are not the same shows, it proves that toxic and flawed depictions of how shows deal with assault is continuing and increasing. I could go into more detail, but for times sake of both you and me, I'll just focus on Bed Friend from this point forward.

Uea is our *main* main character. Most of the story is seen through his point of view with flashbacks from his past and he gets most of the screen time. He seems to not like socializing too much, but he does when needed due to his job and his friend, Jade. He likes to avoid being the center of attention, he’s not confrontational, and he keeps his feelings and problems to himself. He’s suffered through a multitude of ab*se (like being locked in a bathroom by his mother, be*ten by his mother, attempted SA from uncle twice) that is still ongoing (financial ab*se from mother, attempted SA from his ex-boyfriend, predatory relationship with his boss and mental abuse when he sees his uncle during visits home). It is easy to feel empathy for Uea, pain for his situation, and hope that he meets someone very deserving of him.

But instead we got King. King, a fellow co-worker of Uea, is masked as Uea’s saving angel, the one good thing in his world, his knight in shining armor, his escape from his dark and damaging past, etc. You get the point. Therein lies my previous point of masking SA: You know how their relationship really kicks off? A one night stand. With Uea. Who was drunk…. What was the reason? What was the reason?! Uea was clearly concerned, guilt ridden, confused, and distraught as we see him wake up next to a sleeping King. Not something I personally wanted for our love interests to start their, well, love. For a show that had a character go through the amount of trauma that Uea did up until this point (and more comes later), you would think (I guess, hope) that he would be a promoter for self-advocacy, body autonomy, and overall thought-out decision making when it came to something as personal and deep as sexual intimacy. And maybe he would be, but we never see this thanks to King and Uea being drunk. While the show tried to make it seem like Uea initiated the event (King stayed a little too close to Uea on the bed, imo), it doesn’t matter because King says “you’re really drunk” to him, and they proceed to do the deed?!? Knowing he isn’t sober?!?!! Bye. I should have checked out after this but instead, I got in too deep and needed to see how this series would fall apart and disappoint me more.

I know people are probably screaming at me saying, “King was the causality for Uea’s healing! King saves Uea from other assaults so many times! King blah blah yadda yadda yo gabba gabba.” Maybe, sure. Even so, I so deeply wish they took this into a different direction. Uea’s “healing” is now not a result of his recognition of his self-worth or his realization that one shouldn’t deal with his circumstances alone, but instead because of a friends-with-benefits relationship that he started because he was lonely and hurt by his ex-boyfriend cheating on him and who later tries to SA him so he uses these feels, WHILE DRUNK, as the motivator to sleep with King?!?! WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO SAY HERE, MANDEE CHANNEL?? PLEASE, HELP ME UNDERSTAND BC I. DON'T GET. IT.

The SA scenes aren’t a plot point (a moment in your story that impacts the character or the direction of the story in some way) or a plot device (a storytelling tool or technique that is used to propel a narrative). It’s…there isn’t even a storytelling-based word to describe it other than unnecessary. The directors and writers clearly are obsessed with inducing a shock factor but what such an act truly does is degrade the potential meaningful message of the story. It was impactful, but in the worst of ways. (Would have been "better" if it only happened once (like with the uncle) and that being the sole message surrounding Uea's character: you are not the bad thing that happened to you.)

Okay, taking a breather for a sec…side note: UEA'S AB*SE ISN’T EVEN MENTIONED IN THE SYNOPSIS. Viewers (myself included) most likely went into this series expecting an office romance with enemies-to-lovers, but what we got was a sorry excuse for chemistry, acting, an actual deep plot, a logical narrative, and we got the use of ab*se for shock. If you resort to consistently using ab*se to make your reader feel SOMETHING good for your character, I suggest- no I BEG you to switch out of a writing career. With the three drama’s I mentioned before, and more that I am sure are currently in production, we really don’t need to see more media with this narrative.

Okay, sorry, my review is getting a bit long so time to speedrun this (plus I don’t want to give this any more energy):

Transitions:
Some of the transitions feel SO. AWKWARD. The characters either say too much, too little, or there’s an awkward pause (I literally watched the last 3 eps on 2x speed). Also, sometimes, what characters are saying makes me think I missed a whole thing of dialogue. It could be because I’m watching it in English, but idk (ex. Uea and King’s argument in ep 7).

Cinematography:
The cinematography is the pinnacle of average. The only pretty shot was the beach scene at the end of ep 4 and beginning of ep 5.

Acting:
It's not great. It’s not the worst I’ve seen. But it’s not great. Sadly, the only actor that had a very good performance was Uea’s younger self (everyone else kinda pissed me off).

Conclusion:
I'm giving this series a 1.5: A 1 because I can't go any lower, but a + .5 because Uea’s younger self did very well in his role.

While I ask that viewers stray from this series so we are not increasing views therefore increasing these half-baked/toxic relationships and gaslighting stories anymore, I can’t stop you. So, if you do end up sitting through 420 minutes aka 7 hours aka 10, 42 minute episodes, don’t simply waste your time and, instead, reflect on the content you are consuming, how it aligns with you, what you’re watching it for (emphasis!!), and think about who or what does this really benefit.

If you made it this far, I deeply apologize for making you think about this series any longer. I'm going to throw myself off a cliff, pray I live but wake up with amnesia so I forget this series. Bye! xx

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Let the Rain Make a River So I Can Go Drown In It

I LOVE a good soulmate trope, but THIS? My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. It was set up for success: interesting enough plot, good and known actors, under a big production company…what happened?!

When I started watching La Pluie, my interest was peaked as it follows people in a universe where, when it rains, they can only hear their soulmate no matter if they are close to them or not. I was really interested in the worldbuilding of this universe, but as it took a more surrealist approach, I let it never being explained slide.

To break down this broken narrative, let me divide it into sections:

Chapter I: Plot
We follow Saengtai (Tai), a writer, and Phat, a veterinarian, as their love life unfolds after they meet each other in a café one day. This was a very interesting set up with them starting to like each other but both being unaware of their role as each other’s soulmate. It was a nice aspect for the viewer to have a leg-up on information. And it remained interesting to watch their dynamic unfold, with Tai soon finding out Phat *is* his soulmate, and him facing the complication of navigating this. But, why would that be a complication, you may be asking. Well, that brings us to my biggest problem…the characters! (yes, many of them!)

Chapter II: Characters
Saengtai is our main character. He is one of four sons to a divorced couple. After his parents split, it tore his world apart and it caused him to not believe in the whole “soulmates” thing; resulting in him always ignoring Phat whenever it rained for ~2 years straight. Ummm. Rude. This wasn’t the best opening to Tai’s character, as I have always seen him as selfish for this matter. He held on so strongly to the anger he had for his mother, and he was never understanding of their decision for their happiness. Maybe this is my own experience as a child of divorce coming out, but he was very extreme in his irrational grudge regarding the divorce. And, in terms of him as a soulmate to Phat, I thought he was the same level of poor character.

Phat is a sad result of the third-act break-up trope. Phat was great — he was a walking green flag, even. He was communicative, sweet, sometimes shy but also upfront about his feelings. He was protective and sensitive. You could see he really cared for Tai and wanted their relationship to go far. He dealt with Nara (his ex) decently (wish he didn’t let her kiss him, but it’s ok). And then episode 10 hit, and everything (I mean EVERYTHING) went downhill (just like Tai on that countryside trip).

Ep 10 in short: Phat found out Tai lied to him about where he was, so he went to confront him. After seeing Tai with Lomfon (more on him later), Phat goes absolutely insane and starts plumbing him (Lomfon, a literal college student). I, honestly, stared at my paused screen for a good five minutes because I was so taken by surprise. When I say this came out of left field, I’m saying it came out of left field from another country. After this, Phat and Tai fight (Tai was very rational in this conversation), and then part ways…until Phat shows up to Tai’s place drunk and they fight some more and THEN they break up. *sigh* WHY WHY WHY?? Last Saturday, I closed my laptop with only “what happened?” running through my head.

We don’t get any scenes of them directly interacting in ep 11, and I was praying that Phat would show me *some* reason to find him the tiniest bit redeemable, but I was left disappointed. Sure, Phat was sad, but he was sad because they broke up, not specifically because of how insanely abusive he acted. I have no clue what drugs the writers were on for this last bit of the drama, but I hope they never experiment again.

The aforementioned character of Lomfon is the classmate of Tai’s brother, Saengthian. Initially, the two hated each other, but after some school group projects, they both began to develop feelings. Lomfon hung out with Tai because for some weird reason, he can also hear Tai in the rain (soulmates??) and he wanted to figure out why. He kisses him, and then Phat finds them, chaos ensues. BUTTT Saengthian also shows up with Phat, so he sees his crush kiss his brother…hard thing to get over. In the end, Saengthian iconically delivers this line: “Because I like you, a**hole.”

And this brings me to another issue: Random plot points

Chapter III: Randomness
There were some things I found a bit odd that were just thrown in the watchers face and we are supposed to accept it:
• In ep 9, Tai and Phat were revealed to have been childhood neighbors who helped each other through hard times by passing notes to each other. You’re telling me they NEVER saw the other walk outside of the house? Not even a glimpse?!
• When was Lomfon able to hear Tai and Phat? He mentioned that it was after their visit to the countryside, but he expressed interest in Tai long before that. Was that out of a crush??
• Tai saved Lomfon from getting hit by a car the day his parents divorced…okay…
• Tai and Phat can no longer hear each other in the rain all because Tai screamed, “This f*cking destiny, I don’t want it anymore!” Like…okay, why was it that easy…

Chapter IV: Conclusion
The fantasy element is okay-ish. It is nothing that special, and it rained so. much. to a laughable amount and I began to question if it is really like that in Thailand YEAR-ROUND. The script is honestly mediocre, and the pacing sometimes fell a bit flat. I liked the second leads at times more than Phat and Tai. The cinematography also isn’t that special, but the few countryside eps were pretty.

Overall, I am so sad by how this series is ending, and the bad taste it will leave in my mouth. I already know it’s going to end with the two couples getting together and that’s honestly so messed up. It’s giving Love in the Air…detour!

Love in the Air follows two couples: first is Rain and Payu and the second half of the series is on Sky and Prapai. Both couples are toxic in their own way, but would you guess it, they all end up with each other. Writers need to acknowledge that, for a realistic and more impactful ending (and in this sense/context, a positive one), it is perfectly fine for a character to not end up in a relationship they were building them towards if something drastically changes. For LITA, I would have wholeheartedly understood if Sky told Prapai that he was not ready for a relationship after being mentally and physically harmed by his ex again. For La Pluie, I would understand if Saengthian says he doesn’t want to be with Lomfon if he’s not confident in his own feelings. Or Tai if he is uncomfortable with how cruel Phat acted without even trying to understand him (Phat became a traffic light with a broken yellow light). People change, so relationships and hopes do as well, and it is fine for a character to divert their desires based on their needs.

It hurts me to say, but I honestly would not recommend this series to others. Go watch Until We Meet Again for a soulmate trope, Be My Favorite for another fantasy, or You’re My Sky for more of Suar’s (Saengthian) acting <3

EDIT: i finished. i have thoughts.
• Saengthian and Lomfon- whatever, they can end up together. But it would be very weird knowing my partner had a crush on my sibling first.
• I don't like how Tai apologized to Phat and he didn't even apologize back. Tai was saying he was being selfish...NO. You just had good boundaries, babes.
• LOVE LOVE LOVE Nara and Dream <3
• I was going to actually bump my review up to 5 stars (a result of too much coffee and sleep deprivation), and then the ending with Saengthian getting a soulmate happened and I was like...wait...what are you thinking?? I have no clue if they plan to do a spin off, but I honest to god hope not.

Pinterest plug: https://www.pinterest.com/ed3nelle/drama-la-pluie/

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TharnType Is the Thorn in My Side

TharnType is a first BL for so. many. watchers. Right now, it is sitting at a 7.7 MDL rating with 58,013 viewers and the TikTok hashtag for it has accumulated 2.4 billion views. It is a widely known drama and it is an introduction to the BL industry for many drama-watchers (unfortunately so, might I add, but I’ll get into that later).

Important note: I have not read the manhwa, so I will not consider it in the grand scheme of this review. The rest of this review contains mentions of assault and homophobia. If you are not comfortable with that topic, I do not recommend proceeding.

Buckle up, BL babes. Let’s dive into this mess of a drama.

Prologue: History
TharnType is actually the child story of another BL named “Love by Chance,” released in August of 2018. I watched the first few episodes, but quickly got bored and decided to drop it. From my research, Tharn is not present in this story, and Type is a very minor character (not important to the plot, but Type is played by actor Earth instead of Gulf). Fourteen months later, we were given “TharnType,” the drama that created a massive fanbase for this drama family tree.

Chapter I: Plot
Personally, I think 2% of the plot had potential, but the writers just decided to go about it in the worst of ways. Let me give you why I think it could have been something better: The plot of a homophobic person (sadly still a very real possibility of encounter today) gaining a new perspective by befriending an openly gay person is interesting. Together, they could navigate the why’s and how’s of this conversation, and it could have started a really interesting dialogue on the roots of homophobia, the history of the LGBTQ+ community in Thailand, the lack of support and/or rights, and how to respectfully discuss these topics and initiate change (in legislation, mindsets, etc.). But that’s just it…they COULD HAVE done this, and they didn’t.
I have a lot of problems with TharnType and it’s fans, and one of them is this: the foundation of TharnType’s plot is s*x. So much of this story’s plot revolves around s*x. For narratives, plot refers to the physical world while story pertains to emotional points. The story of Tharntype is so lacking in creating a substantial message that it relies completely on plot, and not a good one at that. Plot and story should work together like a seesaw: one gets the spotlight and then they switch. But Tharntype’s narrative structure is like such: homophobic comments (plot), s*x to fix a problem (plot), homophobia (plot), s*x to appease Tharn (plot), more homophobia (plot), s*x because they become a couple (plot), misunderstanding/fight (plot), make-up and more s*x (plot), the end.
This is why I tend to lean away from those who rate this anything larger than a 2 as it just feels like an excuse to watch two boys have intimate and nsfw moments. People can say they love this because of the characters being endearing or the narrative exciting, but it just feels like an excuse to hide behind because the characters are…problematic and the plot is…something to be erased from one’s search history.

Chapter II: Story
Sort of previously touched on, I cannot even tell you what I think the message of this story is. Be kind? Like, really?? Is that the best we can do?? At times, it even seems like they want to instill empathy for homophobic individuals. Type’s assault is certainly not something to be taken lightly, but I also do not condone him projecting this trauma onto others through homophobic remarks. One’s trauma is not an excuse to create trauma for others. THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE MESSAGE! But no, it’s more so “trauma because of reason, reason deserves understanding, forgive the past, push your roommate into having s*x with you.” Wow. What a message we want an impressionable audience to learn from. It may be awful but yay, queer representation (/j)!

Chapter III: Characters
The first character we are introduced to is Type. He is a soccer player, a rich kid, a popular student, and best (/j) of all, homophobic. He is the definition of your douchey young adult boy: he is insensitive, brazen, and petulant. In his first inner monologue, he says, “I bet he [Tharn] and I could help each other get laid within the first year” (ep 1). Like?? HUH?? Reference 1 for my comments about the plot above. But, after Type learns about Tharn’s sexuality, their friendship takes a sharp nose dive into the ocean of homophobia, and we stay stranded there for many episodes — where we have to hear him say, “I hate gays” roughly 500 times. We later come to learn that Type was sadly abducted and assaulted as a child, and that is the reason behind his aversion for gay people, but everything he spoke was either homophobic or annoying — a really hard character to have total empathy for.
Tharn. I HATE this character. Aside from Prapai, Rain, and Payu from Love in the Air — characters who have no depth, no personality other than s*x as well, and are shallower than the sea below the cliff I wanted to jump off of after watching Bed Friend — Tharn is the worst of worst of love interests. He is manipulative, intrusive, and very simply put, weird.
Techno. *sighs* What can I say other than what. the. fawk kind of a friend is he? Homie to the homophobe. Techno seems to be there to carry the plot to the next step, but he feels like nothing other than that. He is also there for comedic relief, but by the time his jokes came around, I was already too annoyed by Thorn or too appalled by Type.
After the many, many instances where I wanted to bleach my eyes from seeing Tharn do anything on screen, I did not think we could go any lower on the character bar. But then, we were punished by the presence of his best friend: Lhong. What a curveball he was. The drama would have been way more impactful if the message was, as I stated again, your trauma is not an excuse to be harmful to others. But we were cursed with an abuse-saturated plot thanks to Lhong. I honestly cannot get into how insane he was from his betrayal (lies to Tharn), craziness (stalking), and abuse (gang r*ping Tharn's past lover). I am deeply concerned by whoever was able to come up with this character.

Chapter IV: Production + BTS
I am happy to see that the director, Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee, seems to have grown a lot since his TharnType days. I believe as his repertoire grew, his positive storytelling of Queer representation has increased as well. He went on to make “Lovely Writer” in 2021, “Something In My Room” in 2022, and later this year, GMMTV will release JoongDunk’s newest project, “Hidden Agenda.” I am glad his projects seem to support a growth of mindset, but it is also hard to look past the unrecognized damage TharnType has done.
Though this isn’t about TharnType, I still think it is important to mention. In 2021, Art Pakpoom Juanchainat who played Mew’s love interest on the drama, “What The Duck,” posted a video sharing that Mew had nonconsensually kissed him off-screen. The hashtag #MewSexualHarassment was trending on Twitter. Many of Mew’s fans came to his defense saying it was fan-service, resulting in the other side of watchers claiming this was normalizing sexual harassment. (I got all of this information from an article published by the Thai Enquirer.) I believe earlier this year, Art and Mew made up (whatever that means??) and it was all put to bed, but this continues to prove me right in the distaste I have for fans of Mew and the production's he's worked on.

Chapter V: Conclusion
In the beginning of this review, I brought up that it is unfortunate how this drama is the first BL for so many people. Why I say so is this: TharnType depicts a toxic relationship, one built upon a wrongly placed sexual desire, and it furthers the wrong and harmful view that those who are gay are such because of predatory reasons or as a result of sexual assault. You may feel inclined to give this story the benefit of the doubt, but this wasn’t made in the early 2010s, this was released in 2019. Only four years ago…I mean, come on now. TharnType isn’t like SOTUS (another first BL for many) where I saw the flaws, but could accept/move past them because of the time and the impact it made on including BL couples in the film industry of Thailand. TharnType shows this toxic dynamic and poor portrayal of a relationship not for the better of the Queer community, and I can’t try to rationalize it because they should have known better. I should mention that I know this drama is based on a manhwa (“TharnType Story”) written in 2014 and published in 2016; but, even so, the time gap between the manhwa and the production is large enough for lots of progression in acceptance. And because of that, this story should have never been adapted to the screen. We should have just left it in the past, let the dust collect and accept what it was for its time.
When I decided to write this review, I started with the hope that I could open the eyes of some of the insanely obsessive fans of this series. I still hope for this, and not that I steered your mind to agree with *my* thoughts, but to make you think about the content you are consuming. I use dramas as an escape, something I believe many of us have in common. But I also look to them for storytelling. For creative plots, captivating performances, and positive representation. If these things are lacking in a production, what are we doing? I get that we sometimes need to take our mind off of the hardships of our personal life, but at the cost of supporting a flawed drama is a hefty price — one that birthed the problematic trinity: TharnType (and it’s three sequels— oml, who asked for that), Don’t Say No, and Love in The Air.

Just like all my reviews, I would like to thank you if you made it this far, and I hope I gave you another perspective on this drama. Whether you agree or disagree with my thoughts and points, I am glad there is this place for a respectful conversation.

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Call an Ambulance! Call an Ambulance! And Yes, for Me ;)

Before I begin, I want to express my surprise and delight that this is the first cdrama I've watched where the main intro doesn't spoil much of the plot (yes, the ending, but it's a romance, what else are we going to expect?).

Spoiler free ✧･ﾟ:*
After reading the synopsis, I decided to give Fireworks of My Heart a go for old nostalgia’s sake. The first Chinese drama I fell absolutely in love with was “You Are My Hero,” and this one did not disappoint in giving me a similar tale.

FOMH tells the story of ER surgeon, Xu Qin, and her high school sweetheart and now firefighter, Song Yan. After being torn apart and split up years ago, the two finally reconnect thanks to their respective careers. However, though Xu Qin still loves Song Yan, their love story cannot rekindle so easily. From emergency cases, heartbreak, family disagreements, miscommunication, hidden secrets, and love so deep it can blind them like a fire’s flame, we get to watch them on their healing journey and their "like a moth to a flame" habits.

Borderline spoilers *:･ﾟ
Song Yan is indeed my new crush <3 He is so kind to his loved ones, but he also stays true to his boundaries. He follows his heart but leads with his head. He is protective, brave, understanding, solemn and mature. With the hardships that came with being intertwined with Xu Qin, he handled many situations extremely well, showcasing a great temperament and habit of compassion. There was not one scene where I did not see him as rational or anything other than ideal.

Xu Qin was adopted by the Meng family at a young age due to her parents passing in a fire. This is something I wish the plot touched on as we were only given this information thanks to a dream she had late in the drama. However, I also understand that she was fairly young, so the impact primarily came from living with the controlling and manipulative Meng family (in particular, the mother). Xu Qin has a strong temper when it comes to Song Yan or her work, but in the presence of his family, she is extremely docile. Due to the controlling trauma she endured at a young age, she has grown to never step out of line, even if it means giving up on her love (*wink* *wink*). Though, gradually, she learns that her successes should be defined and controlled by herself, making a complex yet sad relationship dynamic with her family counterpart.

Jiang Yu, a firefighter alongside Song Yan, is my man!! Love, love, love. Not to mention that all of the firefighters were an absolute joy to watch. I loved their personalities and their own personal dilemmas we got the occasional glimpse of.

Meng Yan Chen, Xu Qin’s “brother,” was an interesting character. His development was interesting, but the heavily implied liking to his sister was not my favorite aspect to the plot. Nevertheless, he furthered examples of the burden living in the Meng family feels like.

Conclusion ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚
There were some aspects I found boring (like some of the family discussions) and others I found so fun to watch (Jiang Yu and his later love interest ;)). The action scenes were done very well, and my heart did indeed race at times. The acting from our main characters was extremely well done and they both had captivating performances (ex. when Xu Qin got drunk). Overall, I would recommend this to others if you are looking for a second chance romance with lots of action outside of their burning hearts.

Pinterest plug: https://www.pinterest.com/ed3nelle/drama-fireworks-of-my-heart/

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The Hidden Agenda Is Behind a Glass Wall

It seems like we have been hit with a lot of GMMTV BL’s that start with one lead attempting to swoon another person but eventually falling in love with their “surprisingly” attractive male counterpart. We saw this with Fish Upon the Sky, then currently with Be My Favorite, and now with Hidden Agenda. It’s not that I don't like it, but it is losing its impact, imo. (but go watch BMF anyway, it is amazing.)

The first episode starts off with a story read by Zo (Dunk) in a recording studio. Joke (Joong) and him get into a small fit as Zo went overtime by 5 minutes, which now makes him “owe” Joke something. I am not wild about this first interaction, especially how strong Joke came off (he backed Zo up to a wall and…idk for a first impression it didn’t hit bc I knew how uncomfortable I would feel if that happened irl).

They see each other next on a bus ride when Zo’s friends talk about his crush on Joke’s ex aloud — not knowing Joke was a few seats away. He offers his help to Zo and he turns him down. Again, not totally wild about this interaction and it supports my worries of liking the original trailer more than the newest.

When the original trailer came out seven months ago, I liked how mysterious Joke seemed. He was quiet, respectful, but there was a passion to him (honestly like Khabkluen). I felt it balanced well with Zo being the eager and friendly person he is. However, in this new rendition of their story, Joke is a bit more aggressive. For example, their first meeting when he backed Zo up to a wall, and 25 mins in when he said Zo has “no spine.”
Joke is a bit unserious and I don’t particularly like this route. For instance, I liked how in og trailer, Zo approached Joke to help him date Nita, and Joke is quietly happy because he likes Zo, and it just ends up being super cute and wholesome. Though, in this version, Joke seems mostly forward to help Zo, and it doesn’t hit the same, imo.

Random Ramblings:
• I want to add that I don’t like how Zo’s “unattractive” phase continues the “glasses make you less cute” trope. Bit of a bummer, tbh. Like, Dunk is clearly societally attractive anyway. Just because you style his hair down and put plastic rims around his eyes, we can still see his features so why not just have his other look to begin with?
• I hope I don’t get annoyed with Zo’s friend group and I hope they actually give him good advice/are there for him when he needs them. I’m a bit iffy of them as of the first ep. especially since they left him drunk.
• Music is what it is for GMMTV. You’re gonna get those random soundbites and fading in and out music.
• Thank GOD we have a character that plays the guitar!! I have no clue what I would do without that! /j
• Happy Joke was able to be there for Zo when he got sick in the bathroom, but the scene after, when Zo was confronting Joke, Joke said he wasn’t making any sense when all Zo was saying was sense?? But then, Joke’s comment that, “If you think you don’t stand a chance with Nita, just give up,” was very right.
• The flashback from their freshman year at ~39 minutes had me very confused- it came out of nowhere.

On to more positive things:
• I really hope they add more to Nita’s character! She seems so sweet and I’d love for her to be deeper than your love-interest turned non-love interest. I also like how they made Joke and her friends even after their breakup <33
• Yay, for JoongDunk getting a drama with 10 eps! I hope their chemistry continues to grow and I am happy they seem comfortable with each other.
• I like how the plot’s environment is centered around a club. I don’t believe we have seen that from GMMTV yet and it is nice to see a new aspect than your typical college classmate.
• On a similar note, I like that it is a debate club. I think they can implement some great moments of tension from their personal love-life which then seep into the club debates.
• The college’s campus seems pretty.
• Favorite line: “Why should I hurt my hand by punching you?” (ep. 1, 35 mins.)
• So far, it's better than Love in the Air, but that bar is pretty low!

Pinterest plug: https://www.pinterest.com/ed3nelle/drama-hidden-agenda/

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