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She and Her Perfect Husband chinese drama review
Completed
She and Her Perfect Husband
0 people found this review helpful
by kadie890
Mar 1, 2023
40 of 40 episodes seen
Completed
Overall 8.5
Story 9.0
Acting/Cast 8.5
Music 2.0
Rewatch Value 3.0
This review may contain spoilers

I'm just going to have to reimagine the ending, but not for the reasons you think. Any ideas?

1. Yang Hua. Enough said.
But actually, he's like so progressive, but like in a, well duh, kind of way, better yet, he's progressive in such a way that he makes progressive the new standard and anything else antiquated and regressive. And it results in the (obvious) tolerance, love, devotion, forward-thing, accepting, respecting, and intelligent person he is. I mean, he defends and defines the entire concept of feminism while just discussing the topic for one of her cases. (I am going to save his words until the end of time). I mean, he's simply using his unassailable intelligence and logical reasoning to lay out succinctly why the patriarchy exists and why it is created out of man's fear of losing power and control of human capital, i.e. that the patriarchy is stupid, and that women are biologically and societally more valuable than men, and that men are the lucky ones to be allowed around women, and unconsciously adds that he is especially lucky because he's with her. And the female audience is like, wait wut? and plays the scene another twenty times.
2. progressive relationships
2.a. that the woman is the breadwinner and the man is the homemaker.
I find this especially progressive for China, and yes, at the end, they imply that he's become a HUGE name in his field, but what's important is he clearly expressed throughout the show that he didn't need that. That her being the breadwinner was something that he loved about her and respected in her and promoted for her. Uh, I'm fangirling so much right now. That scene where she totally schools the top lawyers at that party where all the men are around the table smoking and drinking whiskey and they try to make her agree with their sexist comments about women belonging in the house and being best kept in the house rather than working... ok so after that, they try to turn it back on her and ask how her husband would feel/feels and he comes up behind her and puts his arms behind her and defends her, saying he's happiest when she is doing this, and happy keeping home so she can do this. We were all like SNAAAAAAP. Gah his character was the best. I have seen that actor in other shows and I thought he was extremely talented in those and I will admit, I came here to see good acting from him again, and while I wasn't blown away, it wasn't by bad acting, it was simply the character he was playing had subtler emotions, but when they came out ooooo, it was nice to see. like when SPOILER=======he asks her for the divorce and his eyes... I could feel his pain so close to my heart. And his reasoning for the divorce, I know some viewers didn't like it, but I thought it was beautiful and it showed such a close understanding of her thoughts and fears and her character. He knew what she was using the marriage to hide from, he understood, from her families context, and how she cared for her family her views on marriage and where her feelings and fears and insecurities stemmed from, and he gave her just what she needed.... and then the plot fell apart. I think I understand why he didn't "choose" between her and Yao Yao, or at least the second time, it felt like he was sad that she didn't understand the depths of his feelings for her and that she could even think that of him. But then, the showing up at the restaurant to pick up Yao Yao. and then at the airport when he saw Yao Yao and her son (omg what a great actor/character) off what he said around, "I've got it, I've got a plan, I'll take it from here" after pretty much tricking her into thinking he went to Australia with him? As other reviews pointed out, it shows a manipulative side that was very not in character. I'd like to think that his plan was just to give her time to reach the decision that allowed her to balance her morals and her career (i.e. not going back to that toxic law firm and staying independent), before she could move on to deal with other things like figuring out her feelings on marriage and if and how she wanted him in her life. So wft, what was with him just moving in across the hall. Him thinking, "Psych, I've decided it's been enough becuase now I'm acting like a stuck-up know-it-all (he was just a plain, carefree know-it-all before) now that he a CEO of one of the biggest organizations in China?" Like did anyone else feel like he was almost conceited?
2.b open/non-standard relationship
When he was talking with the parents he said he was fine with however she wanted him in her life, and given her experience with the marriages around her, family members as well as a divorce lawyer, he explicitly said they didn't need to be married. It's just a label afterall, and if their relationship wasn't pressured into a particular mold or expectation if the word marriage was attached to it, then that was what he wanted for them.
I couldn't tell from the ending what kind of relationship they were going to form, but knowing Chinese censorship, I'm almost positive it didn't end up as an open relationship (though it looks like they wouldn't be living in the same house, which is already one step of the normative relationship ladder).

So back to creating our own ending. How can we make one where he doesn't appear to be manipulative, scheming, or pretentious? How can we make it where she reaches an equilibrium with her ideas around marriage and what she wants in a relationship, and then *she goes out and FINDS HIM?* I don't like that he just moved in across from her. Consent?? Hello? Also, what about waiting for The Character growth you were working on so hard for her to complete? I mean I guess we can as omniscient readers make him omniscient and say, tada! he knows she finally took that step in her career that put her values and justice at the front, but that still showed nothing about her coming to terms with her feelings for him (THIS IS A G-DAMN ROMANCE SHOW) She never said I love you.

Ok, so circling back. Ideal ending: an ending where
1 he stays true to his nature,
2 they have a relationship that is different enough from the norm such that how they define it, whether as marriage or not, allows her to feel comfort and safety, but most importantly one free/unconstricted/unconstrained by the trappings that the word marriage brings to a relationship,
3 it allows for the non-standard gender roles to be played out in whatever way the characters needed, and
4 She reconciles where she wants to stand with her career (the only thing that actually happened) and with him, and then goes out and does something about it herself. Not him, like wtf.
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